Marriage With Meaning: How Ancient Wisdom Shapes Modern Commitment

The meaning of the word "commitment" is about much more than just a piece of paper or certificate; rather, it describes the creation of an eternal connection between two individuals, which results from the development of mutual principles and obligations as well as growing together. The Marriage Institution has remained one of the most respected institutions within society. Within the Jewish community, marriage is a vital part of the way they view and how they think about their lives together. The significance of marriage in relation to family, community, and spiritual continuity gives couples the opportunity to strengthen their emotional bond with each other and build their relationship intentionally and consciously.

The Deeper Purpose of Marriage in Jewish Thought

Marriage in Judaism is viewed as a sacred union, rather than just a civil or social contract. It is viewed as bringing together individuals into a harmonious, balanced whole that serves one purpose – to fulfil the mission of life through serving and loving each other with God at the centre of the union. The union itself is created to provide emotional stability, develop spiritually, and build mutual confidence in one another.

Jewish teaching is not focused on the romantic aspect of marriage, but rather the responsibility and commitment of husband and wife toward each other, and from this view of marriage arises the opportunity for the couple to build their family on a foundation of trust, shared values and common purpose. Jewish families have built on these principles as they grow in strength over generations despite changes in society.

Building a Strong Foundation Before Marriage

Good pre-marital preparation will involve three elements: the partners' understanding of what is expected of them and what their responsibilities will be as individuals; creating the same values; and being able to find common ground in the way in which they live.

By focusing on these elements during the pre-marital preparation process, the couple will develop a more intentional approach to their marriage than if they were simply entering into an unthought-out commitment. This conscious approach will continue to provide each couple with many opportunities throughout their life together.

The Role of Commitment and Responsibility in Marriage

Marriage is built on a foundation of commitment that converts love into deeds, so in Judaism there should always be mutual responsibility from both partners to work hard & to show kindness & understanding towards one another.

The responsibility of a healthy marriage flows into society as it promotes emotional stability, ethical actions & creates strong family units. The shared responsibility builds accountability & encourages the development of healthy partnerships and creating a support system to overcome life’s challenges together instead of avoiding them.

How Marriage Strengthens Family and Community

A strong marriage does not live in solitude; it influences future generations as well as it affects how communities live. Within Judaism, the family is the primary source for passing down the values, traditions and identities of Judaism.

Children raised in a stable marriage typically have advantages, including: 

• Emotional security
• Moral clarity/consistency
• Cultural identity

This concept of rippling beyond the family foundation is the reason that Judaism considers it imperative to nurture and develop relationships between partners. The investment a couple makes in their mutual relationship, will reap rewards for the couple and for all those connected to them.

A Practical Comparison of Marriage Values

Sustaining Marriage Through Life’s Changes

Marriage needs to change as life evolves, including career changes, having children and growing as an individual. Jewish tradition teaches couples to learn and reflect on their relationship continuously so that they can grow together and continue to develop their relationship, while still maintaining a strong connection with one another.

Regular communication, shared rituals and mutual respect are all ways for a couple to keep their marriage dynamic and meaningful. Instead of expecting their partner to be perfect, they are encouraged to focus on the progress they make together and have patience with one another.

Choosing a Marriage Built on Values

Marriage flourishes when it has a purpose. Newly engaged couples and those in long-term relationships should base the relationship on values that grow over time.

In Judaism, these values are based on: commit to your spouse, build trust together, view challenges as an opportunity to grow together. When committed to these values daily, a marriage is not just an event, it becomes the foundation for many aspects of life together.

Through these understandings, couples can create a strong, enduring relationship with a foundation of meaning and mutual responsibility.