Marriage With Depth: How Commitment Evolves Across Faith, Choice, and Personal Growth

While emotions can influence a lifelong commitment, the essence of a lifelong marriage develops through the shared intentions of two individuals with similar goals and values, as they work together toward fulfilling those goals and values. Marriage also serves as a symbol of love and commitment between two people, and, since marriage is a tradition that crosses many different cultures, it serves as an example and a foundation upon which a couple may develop their stability, growth, and their purpose together.

The various levels of Judaism take this commitment and create many different ways for a person to understand their partnership, responsibilities, and spiritualities. Each person can create their understanding of how to fulfil their commitments based on their beliefs and the lifestyle that they choose to lead, so understanding these levels may help couples develop fulfilling relationships.

The Meaning of Marriage Through the Lens of Tradition

In various faiths, opinions on marriage vary. To many, marriage is a coming together of two people, a means through which balance may be achieved, and a shared objective of the two people involved.

Judaism includes different interpretations of marriage: the practical interpretation, which is how to live with each other; and the spiritual interpretations of marriage through the practice of spirituality in their daily lives and connection to something greater than themselves.

With regard to marriage, practical/spiritual interpretations exist, as do those who expect defined roles and those who expect emotional partnerships based on growth and development of each other.

In all of these interpretations, the commonality is the necessity of making a conscious choice to commit to each other, and to commit effort to that decision. By taking the time to understand the multiple interpretations of marriage, both the couple and society will have a better understanding of what marriage means rather than assuming what marriage means.

How Different Levels of Judaism Shape Commitment

Judaism acknowledges the concepts of "partnership" differently according to each level's level of adherence to traditional Judaism/influence of Jewish tradition, practice and level of individual autonomy.

The differences in understanding "partnership" have an impact on both the way in which a person communicates and the way that the individual practices, as well as on the daily lives of the individuals within a partnership.

Through the traditional level of commitment to marriage, couples have been provided with established methods of forming their marriages, which include clearly defined roles. With the cultural level of commitment to marriage, there is an increase in the level of individual autonomy combined with the traditional and cultural levels of Judaism.

Through a mutual understanding and respect of the varying levels of commitment to Judaism and the varying levels of commitment to marriage, couples can develop mutual expectations that will not cause unnecessary conflicts or resentments.

Preparing for Marriage With Shared Values

Strong preparation creates a foundation for a long-term partnership.

Couples who prepare for marriage by openly discussing their goals, beliefs and boundaries prior to getting married will have stronger relationships. Couples should take time to examine different levels of Judaism together. When partners explore how they align within these areas, they are more likely to have a deeper understanding and commitment to each other as partners.

The key areas of preparation for marriage are:

• Communication and Conflict Resolution
• Family and Lifestyle Expectations
• Spiritual/Cultural Priorities

When couples are upfront with each other about their values prior to getting married, they make a conscious choice to enter into a marriage and become less reactive. The clarity created through open communication builds a foundation of trust and reduces the amount of doubt or uncertainty in the relationship over time.

Comparing Approaches Across Different Levels of Judaism

Sustaining Marriage Through Life’s Transitions

The evolution of long-term relationships (e.g., work changes , having children , etc.) can test the strength of that relationship. When both Partners view the challenges associated with these changes as shared rather than individual struggles then the Marriage will be Stronger.

Within each level of Judaism there is Similar Importance placed on the use of Patience , Communication , and Effort to work through these challenges. This is accomplished through both Structured Guidance and Individual Self-Reflection. Couples must continue to adapt and change while maintaining their connection with one another.

By Following this Approach the Marriage will remain stable even when the surrounding Situation Continues to Change.

Choosing the Right Path for Your Marriage

A successful Partnership/Marriage is not defined by one formula; however, a successful Partnership/Marriage should reflect the couple's true values, rather than any outside influence. Each couple has their own definition of Judaism, which enables them to determine the best path for their relationship (i.e., how to practice Judaism within their marriage), which is comfortable to them and aligned with them as individuals and as a couple.

Couples need to understand the different levels of Judaisms, as this will provide the couple with the information necessary to decide what level of formality they would like to incorporate into their marriage, and how flexible/meaning-ful the marriage is to them.

While some couples may want a highly structured, traditional marriage, others may want more flexibility within the marriage, to incorporate their own way of viewing things. What is most important in a successful Partnership/Marriage is both couples have the same intention of Learning with each other and Evolving with one another; and therefore, if both couples are committed to Evolving/lifelong learning, then Marriage will not be a limitation, but an advantage.

A Commitment That Grows With You

Marriage is not a static institution, nor should it be treated as such. Through experience, reflection on and through intentional, mutual effort, marriage continues to develop. Across the many levels of Judaism, there exists wisdom within each philosophy for Partnership and Commitment; the establishment of lasting partnership comes from a consistent level of respect, mutual regard and a shared vision for Partnership.

Couples will create a relationship that continues to evolve and grow, when they place the needs of their partner (understanding) first….before making any assumptions or decisions based on their own values and convenience. The deliberate effort of creating a meaningful journey for each partner builds on the individual's growth and provides a long-lasting relationship.